Post by zman on Jul 26, 2005 21:15:25 GMT
...or stories of it relating to the train anyway ;D
Story 1 of 2:
One day, I was working as a conductor (guard) on the E line. As I was getting to leave the 5th Avenue station, a passenger comes up to me and notifies me that: "There is a homeless man in the last car who is exposing himself to the women in the car and he is masturbating in front of them." So, I thank him for the information and as we leave the station I immediately call the Control Center. They advise me to investigate the situation upon arrival at the next stop, 7th Avenue.
We arrive at 7th Av, I keep the doors open, I leave my position and I proceed to the last car. Nobody in the car apparently fits the description of being homeless. I look around and nobody appears to have been disturbed. I ask the passengers if somebody had been exposing himself and masturbating in front of the other passengers. They all said no, they hadn't seen anybody doing such a thing. At that very moment, my portable radio blasts from Control Center: "Conductor on that E train, did you find the individual masturbating in the last car?" To which I replied within earshot of everybody and without thinking: "No sir. I haven't seen him. He's not here. He must have...got off."
The whole car bust out laughing (at my expense). Control went eerily quiet. And every crew member within the area heard the transmission as well and made cracks over the air. Needless to say, I didn't hear the end of that for a week.
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Story 2 of 2:
One Sunday evening around midnight, I was working on the Q train (again as a conductor) and we were in South Brooklyn and close to the end of the line, and the end of my shift. Now mind you, conductors ride in the motorman's cab in the middle of the train with the cab door closed and locked. Anyway, we had just left Neck Road (fitting name for the subject, eh?) and we were going at a very slow rate of speed when all of a sudden, I start to hear moaning coming from the interior of the car. And it's getting louder too! I look through my covered cab door window and I see a couple going at it right on the seats! Going all the way too! There was nobody else in the car and they figured that they were all alone. El wrongo!!! The train came to a stop because of a track gang performing temporary work on the tracks so I figured being the kind-hearted soul that I am that I was going to put the fear of God into them. (rubbing hands) he he he
Sooo, I went into my bag and pulled out a can of soda that I was saving for the ride home. I quietly unlocked and opened my cab door and tip-toed towards the couple in heat and sat directly across from them. They hadn't noticed me since their eyes were closed (oh, goody!) As soon as I sat down, I took my can of soda and opened it as loudly as I possibly good. THWAPOP!!! All of a sudden they look at me, in full uniform, and I say in a stern tone: "What in the hell is going on here?!?!?"
LMAO ;D I had never seen two people leap up as high and put on their clothes so quickly in my entire life, along with a million sorrys along the way. Ooooh, sometimes it feels great to be a miserable git!
Story 1 of 2:
One day, I was working as a conductor (guard) on the E line. As I was getting to leave the 5th Avenue station, a passenger comes up to me and notifies me that: "There is a homeless man in the last car who is exposing himself to the women in the car and he is masturbating in front of them." So, I thank him for the information and as we leave the station I immediately call the Control Center. They advise me to investigate the situation upon arrival at the next stop, 7th Avenue.
We arrive at 7th Av, I keep the doors open, I leave my position and I proceed to the last car. Nobody in the car apparently fits the description of being homeless. I look around and nobody appears to have been disturbed. I ask the passengers if somebody had been exposing himself and masturbating in front of the other passengers. They all said no, they hadn't seen anybody doing such a thing. At that very moment, my portable radio blasts from Control Center: "Conductor on that E train, did you find the individual masturbating in the last car?" To which I replied within earshot of everybody and without thinking: "No sir. I haven't seen him. He's not here. He must have...got off."
The whole car bust out laughing (at my expense). Control went eerily quiet. And every crew member within the area heard the transmission as well and made cracks over the air. Needless to say, I didn't hear the end of that for a week.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Story 2 of 2:
One Sunday evening around midnight, I was working on the Q train (again as a conductor) and we were in South Brooklyn and close to the end of the line, and the end of my shift. Now mind you, conductors ride in the motorman's cab in the middle of the train with the cab door closed and locked. Anyway, we had just left Neck Road (fitting name for the subject, eh?) and we were going at a very slow rate of speed when all of a sudden, I start to hear moaning coming from the interior of the car. And it's getting louder too! I look through my covered cab door window and I see a couple going at it right on the seats! Going all the way too! There was nobody else in the car and they figured that they were all alone. El wrongo!!! The train came to a stop because of a track gang performing temporary work on the tracks so I figured being the kind-hearted soul that I am that I was going to put the fear of God into them. (rubbing hands) he he he
Sooo, I went into my bag and pulled out a can of soda that I was saving for the ride home. I quietly unlocked and opened my cab door and tip-toed towards the couple in heat and sat directly across from them. They hadn't noticed me since their eyes were closed (oh, goody!) As soon as I sat down, I took my can of soda and opened it as loudly as I possibly good. THWAPOP!!! All of a sudden they look at me, in full uniform, and I say in a stern tone: "What in the hell is going on here?!?!?"
LMAO ;D I had never seen two people leap up as high and put on their clothes so quickly in my entire life, along with a million sorrys along the way. Ooooh, sometimes it feels great to be a miserable git!
