That there woman.

[q8]

I have heard several names for the auto-announcers now installed on trains.. "Sonya" "Mona" "Yak". any more to add to the list?

[compsci]

I usually call her the robotic woman. The one on the new Uckfield branch trains nearly drove me insane last week as it was a six coach rush hour train, so she was constantly saying "Would passengers ( ) please note that you can only alight from the front five coaches ..."

The one on WAGN is by far the most pompous one I've heard so far, I get the impression she would refer to herself using One rather than I if that were necessary. (Now that really would confuse the passengers )

The prize for robotic sillyness has to go to Birmingham New Street station though, as the computer was apologising ("I am sorry") for delayed trains. There's probably enough there to keep the philosophy department in business for quite some time.

[Chris M]

You mean they have time to announce they're sorry for delayed trains between all the platform alteration announcements at Brum NS?

[q8]

You mean they have time to announce they're sorry for delayed trains between all the platform alteration announcements at Brum NS?
=======================================

Oh yes.

"Oim sorry to have to tell yo that the next train for Coventry has just gone! If yo want to catch the next one oil aks the signalman if it's running"

[Admin Team]

q8 said:

Oh yes.

"Oim sorry to have to tell yo that the next train for Coventry has just gone! If yo want to catch the next one oil aks the signalman if it's running"

Or the idea I personally think would be good...

A selection of voices and/or announcements depending on time of day and/or location.

Let's be honest at some times the announcer could say 'please jump down on the track and stick your tongue on the middle rail' and no-one would notice.

A bit like when at Monument e/b and are reversing at Tower Hill. You tell 'them' to change if going past Tower Hill. On arrival at Tower Hill you try to change ends. Need I say more

[Colin]

The main line platforms at Wimbledon are always saying 'I am sorry....' - how can a computer be sorry? I also feel for the punters cos it really is constant - what a lovely 'service' they must have.

I agree with Daves point about the time of day thing - especially at Southfields at 6am or midnight with a 'C' stock announcing 'alight here for Wimbledon lawn tennis club'. ;D

[Deleted]

admin said:

Let's be honest at some times the announcer could say 'please jump down on the track and stick your tongue on the middle rail' and no-one would notice.

A bit like when at Monument e/b and are reversing at Tower Hill. You tell 'them' to change if going past Tower Hill. On arrival at Tower Hill you try to change ends. Need I say more

I'm familiar with that problem!
And yet, when you make an announcement at Blackfriars that you're terminating at Mansion House, the success rate is much higher! Bizarre.

[Dmitri]

admin said:

A selection of voices and/or announcements depending on time of day and/or location.

A curious fact about Moscow Metro: announcements are made in male voice when traveling to the centre, and in female voice when traveling from the centre (mnemonic rule is "boss calls work/wife calls home"). It has been done by request of the All-Union Society of Blind.

Let's be honest at some times the announcer could say 'please jump down on the track and stick your tongue on the middle rail' and no-one would notice.

"Please jump down on the track, grab the leftmost and the middle rail with your hands and hold them tight. Thank you".

A bit like when at Monument e/b and are reversing at Tower Hill. You tell 'them' to change if going past Tower Hill. On arrival at Tower Hill you try to change ends. Need I say more

A problem I've never quite understood . You see, on my way home, after 20:00 some of the trains are scheduled to reverse 4 stations short of terminus (at "Oktyabrskoe Pole", if anyone needs details . Obviously most of the passengers hear the "This train terminates at Oktyabrskoe Pole" announcement, as you can see them jumping out of the train they've just boarded . I've never seen any problems with detraining at "Oktyabrskoe Pole", too. Strange...

[Colin]

we have something similar on the piccadilly line whereby at every other station in the central area, the platforms alternate between male and female voices. At each station, it will be opposite too, ie male Eastbond, female West bound - so the next station will be the opposite.
If you use the line, but have never noticed, have a listen next time you're on it. IIRC though, the likes of Hyde Park Corner is not included as they Hold trains to time there.

[DWS]

A bit like when at Monument e/b and are reversing at Tower Hill. You tell 'them' to change if going past Tower Hill. On arrival at Tower Hill you try to change ends. Need I say more [/quote]

The trouble at Monument e/b is that when inside the train you can not always hear the Drivers P/A as the Mind the Gap announcer is Very, Very Loud.

[q8]

The trouble at Monument e/b is that when inside the train you can not always hear the Drivers P/A as the Mind the Gap announcer is Very, Very Loud.
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Dunno what they WANT two for? The platform one is a sodding nuisance. The one onboard the train is far better and can be heard outside anyway. That's the trouble you see. They don't want to spend money on safety and when they do they go way OTT.

[Chris M]

Not just on underground trains but on mainline ones as well, the quality and volume of the PA annoucements vary from deafening anaouncements can be heard by the person you are speaking to on your mobile phone with perfect clarity to an incoherent mumble where you are lucky to understand one word in five.

Everybody should be encouraged to report this sort of defect to the maintence crews and any problems identified should be fixed no later than in time for the first journey that train undertakes the following day. Until that time or if this is not possible for any reason then alternative ararngements should be put in place. For example, having a member of staff in the carraige who can relay messages.

Yes this would cost a lot of money, but if they are serious about providing a safe service to passengers and keeping them informed then it is worth it. If it isn't, then what is the point of having a PA in the first place?

[Colin]

Trouble is you report it, fitter checks it at three in the morning in a nice quiet depot with the cab door open to the passenger area, and writes 'NDF, get road fitter to confirm'.


NDF means No Defect Found, BTW.

[Deleted]

colin said:

NDF means No Defect Found, BTW.

Everyone knows NDF means Not Done F**k all.